Customer Service is a Lost Art

I had another experience today that reminded me of how much customer service has gone down the toilet in the last 20 years. I know that there are still businesses out there that believe if you respect your customers, they will return for more business and they will refer their friends. In fact, I think most businesses adopt this philosophy. However, when it comes to employees executing this principle, many fall short. Here are some of my minimal expectations and some extras that may help a customer's opinion of their experience with your company.

1. When I walk into an empty store or small restaurant during off hours, my minimal expectation is that the employees will acknowledge my presence. I expect that they will stop their conversation with each other or their boyfriend on the phone, look me in the eye and say "hi." Good customer service would require that they would actually smile at me and ask if they can help me.
2. If I call a business with a problem, I do not expect that the person on the other line will have all the answers. However, I do expect that he/she will know who does and can transfer me directly to that person. If that is too much to ask, rather than transferring me all over the place (more than once is too much) or putting me on hold for long periods of time (most customers start to get irritated after about 2 minutes), then the person I am speaking with should do the leg work of tracking down the answer for me and calling me back. If he/she does not have the answer within one hour, he/she should call back to let me know that they have a whole team of people that are still working on it. I don't understand people who don't return phone calls. Do they not want my business?
3. I don't want to hear employees tell me how busy they are or how busy the company is. Especially if your company works with other businesses. I don't care if they are completely swamped. I'm busy, too, and now I'm even further behind schedule because they haven't fixed my problem. They should have given me a more realistic ETA when I called, in the first place. If their technician is running behind, unexpectedly, someone should make a courtesy call to let me know the ETA will need to be adjusted, rather than waiting until I have to call them. By that point, I'm already aggravated. 
4. I realize that outsourcing to other countries is cheaper than hiring American workers, but can companies at least make sure that their employees speak English well enough that I can understand them?! Anytime I call in to a company that has a customer service rep that I can't understand, whether it is because they have a thick accent, they talk too fast, or they mumble, my immediate observation is that the company does not care about whether their customers can understand the representatives that are providing their services.
5. If I have an issue with the product or service that I purchased, I expect that returns and refunds will be accepted, within a reasonable amount of time. However, I do understand that some people take advantage of loose policies, so although I would like it to be easy, if they want a receipt, a reason, and to see my ID, that is acceptable to me. However, I feel that it is too much to ask to be blamed, overly questioned, or not be able to make a reasonable exchange for some obscure reason.
6. If I want to buy something and it is marked with a certain price on the shelf, I expect to receive it for that price, especially if I have done my due diligence in making sure that the items was in the correct spot and the model number on the box matches the one on the sign.  I am not happy to be told by the cashier that there is a significant difference in the price that it rung up and they will not be able to honor it. I am even further annoyed when the sales person treats me like an idiot by telling me some BS story about how it is the manufacturers fault. I am then beyond peeved when the sales person takes the product and the sign to the backroom to destroy the evidence, so now I can't even argue with the manager. (Note: I argued with him anyway and caused a big scene in front of a major electronics store on Black Friday. He didn't even offer to split the difference with me, even though they were wrong! Can you tell I'm still bugged about it and plotting my revenge?)
7. As a customer, I do not want to hear employees telling me how much they dislike their job or the company that they work for. I don't want to overhear them talking to other employees about being disgruntled, why their other co-workers are lazy, or how drunk they got last night. I like to start conversations with cashiers and wait staff, but their is a line between being friendly and TMI (too much information) that should not be crossed in front of customers. Take it to the break room.

I'd love to hear from everyone else about bad customer service experiences and how you would have handled it differently. In case you are wondering, the incident that prompted me to write this is relevant to #3, but all of these have happened to me on at least one occasion. In my experience, I would estimate that 60% of businesses rarely give good customer service, 30% sometimes do, and only 10% are consistent about providing good service to their customers. Do you agree or disagree?